My mother passed away 14 years ago. Two weeks before her death, she was admitted to Alexandra Hospital for breathing difficulties. On the day of her admission, she struggled for breath and the doctors had no choice but to cut open her throat and inserted the breathing apparatus. Hence forth, her breathing was no longer her own effort but that of the machine. She had endured so much hardship raising 11 children and then the Japanese War, but this must be her most difficult moments. With her vocal cord cut, she was unable to speak. And because she had never gone to school, she couldn't write what was on her mind.

Dad passed away peacefully at home a few days after her admission. We kept it from her until after the funeral. The family gathered together to discuss how to break the news to her. Finally, it was decided that Fei Lin and I would talk to her. Fei Lin did a great job. She told her that dad had been taken to Heaven. There was a lot of church members who came to give us comfort etc. Mum understood and she was pleased.

One day, she started gesturing with her fingers drawing circles in the air. But we didn't know what she wanted. We sent for the maid, and immediately she could tell that mum wanted to eat preserved Assam shaped in circles. When we asked her if this was what she asked for, she knodded. We then assured her that as soon as the tube was removed, we would give that to her. Each day, we saw her getting weaker. She died in the early hours. I was the last one to see her the night before. I kissed her on the cheek before I left.

Indeed there are lessons that I have learned from the this episode. Breathing is so easy if we are healthy. But when our lungs failed, to catch a breath is a luxury. How I have taken so many things for granted. The Bible says "Give Thanks" regardless of the circumstances. In everything give thanks. Live like today could be my last. Then I would really appreciate all that God has blessed me with, and the people around me. Secondly, never had I imagined that just to communicate to your loved ones that she wanted preserved Assam could be such a struggle. Aren't these simple things in life? Shouldn't I be grateful that I could talk and I could write? So why get upset and uptight with minor irritations? I get upset when young people passed me by in church as though I was transparent. Not that I wanted them to bow to me, but a simple "Hello" would have been wonderful. But now I must be thankful that there are young people in church. Appreciate the flowers, the trees and the air. when people are dead, we sent flowers and spoke of all the good things, respectfully. We shake the hands and hug the bereaved family members to comfort them. Question is why wait till the funeral? Is this so difficult to tell my wife that I love her? Is this so difficult to buy her little gifts to let her know how much I appreciate her? Is this so difficult to show more care and love for others? Teach me Lord to cherish everyone in the family, and all my friends.